At War With Ourselves

I’ve been at war with myself since 7^th grade (for those of you who don’t know or don’t remember, that’s about 13) when I looked at myself from the side and realized my stomach puffs out. Every few months since then I’d tell myself I’m going to lose weight and make that puff go away. Aaaand every few months all I end up doing is getting sorta close, then dropping the ball and gain a pound or two more than I originally had. I’ve been doing this for 4 years now, and I still don’t like myself. In fact, I’ve found MORE things that are wrong with me. My thighs are too big, my face has too much fat, I’m not smart enough, I’m too loud, I say the wrong things, and my butt looks weird. Other people say I’m fine or that I worry too much, but then I hear other people who I envy with complaints about themselves. For example, one of my friends, who we’ll call Laura for privacy’s sake, is a beautiful girl. Seriously, she’s stunning. Yet I always find her counting calories, and constantly hear her talking about how she spent 2 hours in the gym trying to lose weight. She doesn’t need it. She has a cute figure, a gorgeous face, and hair that rocks. When are we going to learn to love ourselves as much as those who love us? Why can’t we be satisfied with what we see in the mirror? What is it that makes us want what we don’t have? I hear these awful stories of girls spending ridiculous amounts of time in the gym to lose an unhealthy amount of weight, and then they still aren’t satisfied, so they starve themselves and nearly die. And for what? To have the body of a ten year old boy. Why can’t we learn to live with and love our curves or our less than perfect thighs?