15-year-old Boys and Poetry

Today's post was brought to you by my fifteen year old younger brother, Evan. Evan is one of the strangest, most hyperactive, and creative kids I know. He says or does something hilarious and doesn't even understand why it's funny. I absolutely adore my little brother, even when we're driving each other crazy. Now, personally, I don't have a problem with poetry. I don't always understand it, but it's interesting once it's explained. Evan does NOT feel the same way at ALL. For his lit class he had to write a two hundred word explanation of his position on poetry. I thought it was too entertaining not to share (he got a hundred for this and praise from the teacher).


"I hate poetry because I'm not artistic at all. I cannot, for the life of me, understand what a poet is talking about. The only time I can understand poetry is when the symbolism is so obvious that it feels like the writer is talking down to you. It feels like the writer is saying, "Oh, you see, the rabbit is symbolic for innocence, and because you've listened so well, you get a gold star!" Yeah, I'm not a three year old. You don't need to hammer this in. I'm sure I don't suck that much. Another reason it makes my blood boil is that a lot of the time the teacher makes us analyze it so much, we get to the point that we're smashing our heads on the poem. You don't need to tell me that the bird in the cage means the writer wants freedom. I think anyone with half a brain cell can figure it out. However, the teacher usually insists upon explaining it not once, not twice, but twelve freaking times. It is so incredibly boring. I mean, I know that this is for people with a developed sense of art, but by God, you don't need to go into depth about every last blade of grass you come across. While on the topic of "boring", teachers don't even attempt to make it an enjoyable experience. One of my teachers once said, "School is work, not fun". That may be true, but "A good teacher can make his students learn, a better teacher can make his students want to learn". If you actually try to put some effort into it, I'm sure it can be an enjoyable experience. However, if you just throw a piece of paper at us and say "Read this and write an essay about how the sun is hot" then everyone is going to be angry. Wow...I really went above the requirements needed to write this, didn't I?"

100 Little Happies

I know I've talked about how people forget to appreciate the small things in life in one of my previous blogs, but then I thought, "Just what ARE the little things?". Perhaps people don't take time to appreciate them, because they don't really know how to. These little things can be anything from a color, to a feeling, to a person (OK, bigger small thing, but you get the idea). To shine some light on these little things, I've compiled a list of one hundred smalls things that I appreciate in my life. They're not in any particular order, I just wrote them as they came to mind. Keep in mind, this is not a list of ALL my little things, just the first hundred.

1. A smile/conversation with a friendly stranger
2. Socks (knee high especially)
3. The clicking sound high heels make
4. The way writing with a mechanical pencil makes handwriting WAY better
5. Feisty elderly people
6. Friendly/Curious children
7. Brightly colored birds and butterflies
8. Cozy afternoons on a rainy day reading a good book
9. Funny teachers
10. The satisfaction that comes with successfully painting your own nails
11. Clicking with someone you just met
12. Listening and/or singing along to a song that fits your mood exactly
13. Talking to/being with a friend you haven't seen in a while
14. When scary authority figures are in a good mood
15. The relief that comes with taking off previously mentioned heels
16. Getting back a major grade you thought you failed and realizing you aced it
17. Reading a quote that really sticks out to you
18. Bright sunny days
19. Clothes fresh out of the dryer
20. The smell of vanilla
21. CHOCOLATE
22. Novels written by John Green
23. Freshly baked cookies
24. Understanding a new concept the first time it's introduced
25. Finding a ladybug in your room
26. Singing at the top of your lungs
27. Clicky pens
28. Alliterations
29. Stickers
30. Bright/metallic colors (specifically, purple)
31. Laughing so hard you feel abs forming and tears rolling down your face
32. Doodles that turn out better than expected
33. Coloring/Doodling in general
34. Turning the book open right to the page the teacher said to turn to
35. The possibilities of a blank sheet of paper (or word document)
36. Boxes
37. Saying something clever when the opportunity arises, rather than 5 minutes later
38. Accidentally taking a picture that actually turns out to be pretty fantastic
39. Noticing details you've never noticed before
40. Making some one's day
41. That moment when you realize your hiccups are actually gone
42. Reminiscing on happy memories
43. Writing on a whiteboard with a new marker
44. The soft tickle of mist
45. The indescribable feeling that comes with swimming under water
46. Pushing elevator buttons
47. Sliding on hardwood floors
48. Fluffy things
49. Suddenly, for absolutely no reason at all, taking off running
50. The feeling of acceleration when you step on the gas pedal
51. Recognizing a vocab word and actually knowing what it means
52. People with dimples
53. Secret rainbows
54. Miniature items
55. Making friends with the people who have the wrong number
56. Fun facts
57. Giant purses
58. Old VHS movies
59. Cracking knuckles
60. Typing (the act and the sound)
61. Being so wrapped up in something, the rest of the world seems to melt away
62. Stretching
63. The one dollar section at Target
64. When the song I think I want to listen to next actually plays (it's like my iPod can read minds!)
65. Cleaning out a closet or desk and finding something you thought you lost
66. That glamorous feeling after doing your make up just right
67. The word "Discombobulated"
68. Accidentally rhyming words
69. The way milk goes so well with cookies
70. Hearing a song so beautiful it gives you goosebumps
71. Poorly faking a foreign accent
72. People who actually have a foreign accent
73. Busting out of a writer's block with a stroke of brilliance
74. Hearing familiar stories through a different point of view
75. When teachers digress and talk about their lives
76. The cool side of the pillow
77. The happy exhausted feeling after a hard work out
78. Sweets
79. Long, flowing dresses
80. The 52 minutes of chorus with Dr. Jana Williams every day
81. Visits with Ms. Emily Juckett
82. Visits with Mrs. Amy Merlin
83. Spinny chairs
84. Bean bag chairs
85. Tights
86. Pandas
87. Happy babies
88. Finally remember that thing you could not for the life of you remember earlier
89. Hugs!
90. Finding things you gave up looking for a long time ago
91. Automatic doors
92. Cool cashiers/waiters
93. Coincidences with perfect timing
94. Scented candles
95. Bubble baths
96. When the mane is cooperative
97. PB&J (grape jelly is the best)
98. All things Gaga
99. Bubbles
100. Hitting the "Publish Post" button after writing a new blog

Letters to the Loved and Lost

I saw one of my friends do this on her facebook status, and I thought I'd do it too...just....on here.

Dear ex boyfriend,

I really hate how things ended between us. For so long we were completely wrapped up in each other and now we barely acknowledge that the other exists. You still cross my mind and I still look back on all of our happy moments. There's still some anger and hurt in me, but there's really nothing that can be done about it other than to let it go. I truly hope you're as happy as you say you are, and I wish you all the best. I hope one day we'll learn how to smile at each other again.
- Sierra

 Dear current boyfriend,
Although you're not really my "boyfriend", you very well could be. I love the way we laugh together for hours and how you're always there for me. We never ever fight and you're so sweet to me. I find myself wondering how I ever deserved to have someone like you in my life. I wish I could better understand your situation at home, but I know you're not ready to talk about it yet. I hope you know I'm here for you and you can talk to me about absolutely anything. I love you to pieces.
<3 Sierra

Dear best friend,
We're very distant now, and I miss you so much. I know you're probably still hestitant to be around me, but I'll be here when you're ready. I worry for you a lot. You said once that you're not worth it, but that's just not true. You absolutely are worth it. I value you so much, and I really hope we get the chance to be close again. You will always have my fiercest love and loyalty. If you need me, I'm right here.
Yours, Sierra

Dear ex best friend,
I think about you a lot. I miss the friendship we had. Sometimes I have days when I would give anything to relive one of our sleep overs. I miss your laugh and the silly things we did together. I know it can never be the same, and that we've grown apart, but I still hold you in a special place. You mean a lot to me, whether we're close or not. Nothing will ever taint the memories we've made together, and I thank you so much for that. I love you.
- Sierra

 

 

 

Dear Mom,
You are not just my rock. You are my mountain. There are no words for how much I love and look up to you. I heard in a movie once, "Mother is God in the eyes of a child". This is too true. There's absolutely no way I can repay you for all of the things you've done for me. You've always been one of my biggest heroes. I love how we mess with Evan and Dad for our own amusement and spend hours laughing until our sides hurt. I love our dance parties in the kitchen when we're making dinner and how we both love to sing out with Adele and Gaga. I'm going to miss seeing you every day when I go to college next year, and you can gaurantee I'll most likely be calling to ask how laundry works even though we've been over it 500 times. I love you more than you know, and thank you so much for the life you've given me.
All of my love, Sierra

Dear Dad,
I know we've had our bumps, and don't always see eye to eye, but I couldn't ask for a better dad. I don't know anyone else who has memories of writing letters back and forth to an imaginary pen pal, or motorcycle rides when they were little. You've taught me so much, and I'm sure you still have more to teach me. I'm especially appreciative of the few wrestling techniques you taught me. It makes it so much easier to settle debates with your son. ;) I know there are things that I've fought you on, but I know now you were only trying to help. I'm sorry I'm so difficult like that. I remember you once said "I'm going to be so sad when Evan realizes I'm not Superman". Well, Dad, I don't know about Evan, but you will always be Superman to me. I am forever a Daddy's girl.

Love always, Bookie

And dear future me,
You're probably hating me right now for some of the choices I've made. Either that or you're thanking me, I don't know. I'm actually not too sure what to say to you. There's no profound feeling I'm having right now that I want you to hold on to. No truly deep thought or anything, just me. Although, I guess if I want you to remember anything from today, it would be Mr. Nixon's polar bear story to explain social contracts to us. The stupid polar bear that keeps stealing your fish so you're insane with hunger. This is probably really disappointing, but I honestly can't think of one thing to say. Although, there is this nagging thought of a quote from "The Fault In Our Stars" that I can't seem to remember, so I guess my request would be to go back and find it? Then again, future me could be as soon as tomorrow. So go finish the book, lazy pants!! Oh, and I love you too. You're just not really aware of it.
Sincerely, Sierra

Will Grayson Will Grayson and Some Thoughts on Love

Last night, I finished yet another one of John Green's novels (I've read almost all of them now). This one was called "Will Grayson Will Grayson", about two very different characters with the same name. This novel also revolves a lot around homosexuality and...well...love. This quote below really stuck out to me. It says a lot about people and what matters to us, and I simply had to share it.

To explain the context a little bit, Tiny Cooper is the best friend of one of the Will Graysons. They recently were not speaking, and this is the part when they make up. Will comes to Tiny to tell him that he loves him, and he truly is his best friend.

"Grayson, are you coming out to me? Because I'm, I mean, don't take this personally, but I would sooner go straight than go gay with you."

And that's when Will Grayson gives this fantastic monologue.

"NO. No no no. I don't want to screw you. I just love you. When did who you want to screw become the whole game? Since when is the person you want to screw the only person you get to love? It's so stupid, Tiny! I mean, Jesus, who even gives a fuck about sex?! People act like it's the most important thing humans do, but come on. How can our sentient fucking lives revolve around something slugs can do. I mean, who you want to screw and whether you screw them? Those are important questions, I guess. But they're not  that important. You know what's important? Who would you die for? Who do you wake up at five forty-five in the morning for even though you don't even know why he needs you? Whose drunken nose would you pick?!"

 I just think this speaks so loudly and truthfully. Will really has a point. We put so much emphasis on something that any lowlife animal can do. We immediatley attach romantic or sexual thoughts to the word "love". My lit teacher was talking about this in class this week. It's less acceptable to tell your friends you love them because of what we attach with love. We forget that there are different kinds of love. You don't love your dog the way you love your significant other or your sister, and you don't love you best friend the way you love your mother. The word "love" and the action of sex have gotten mushed together, and now the two seem extremely superficial. I love Will Grayson for saying this, and I love John Green for being the writer that he is.

Music is My Soul

With the music loud, my spirits are high

Wrapped in ecstasy, erupts my voice

Shifting, shaping, shattering, never shy

I can not stop, I have to no other choice

In its tight grip, the melody holds me

Begone, judgement! You have no power here

Finally, fantastically I am free

This song is my home, my sanctuary

I need music like a rose needs the rain

I do not just hear, on music I thrive

It soothes the soul, and eases any pain

The world says, "Give up" music says, "Survive"

At total loss, when monsters come to play

My true sword, it keeps the demons at bay

Looking For Alaska (Warning: SPOILERS!!)

            I just recently finished author & nerdfighter, John Green's, first novel, "Looking for Alaska". I can find no other way to describe this book other than “utterly fantastic”. It’s a less whiney, more enjoyable version of “The Catcher in the Rye”. Actually, in a lot of ways, it’s more like “Catcher in the Rye” meets “The Great Gatsby”.  The book is through the point of view of Miles Halter, who leaves his safe life in Florida to go to Culver Creek Boarding School in Alabama. There he makes new friends with whom he wreaks all kinds of havoc, as well as falls in love with the stunningly beautiful, never dull, and always unavailable, Alaska Young. Then disaster strikes and Miles’s world is turned upside down. From this point on, the book is about how Miles and his friends deal with this change and the mystery behind it. There is a section in the back of the book with discussion questions. I’ve answered these questions to the best of my ability, but be warned, spoilers run amok in this Q&A.

1.      Discuss the book’s unusual structure. Why do you suppose Green chose this strategy for telling his story? How else might he have structured the same material?

            I’m not really sure how to answer this question (I know, first question & I can’t answer, lovely). The structure just didn’t seem too strange to me. It was certainly creative. The countdown from “before” to “after” made me anticipate knowing what was going to happen to make “after” necessary. The book didn’t really have any clearly marked chapters. Just notes of time gone by and the two parts marked “before” and “after”.  This, along with the compelling story itself, made it extremely hard to put the book down, so I read it in two days. I don’t think this would have been the case, had there been distinguished chapters.

  

2.      Miles tells the story through his own first person voice. How might the book differ if it had been told in Alaska’s voice or the Colonel (aka Chip)? Or in the voice of an omniscient narrator?

  
            The book through the point of view of Alaska or an all knowing narrator would have been, I think, a lot shorter and a lot less interesting. Alaska was mysterious and unpredictable. It was the excitement of these characteristics that made the reader, as well as everyone around her; want to get in her head. Not knowing or fully understanding Alaska made reading the story more interesting. If we knew everything from being in Alaska’s head or being an all knowing narrator, that mystery and intrigue would be gone. Although, I think through Alaska’s point of view there would have been a lot more commentary and mention of great poets and writers which, in turn, would result in more excerpts to contemplate. Everything would be something of a riddle, because that’s what Alaska was. A living riddle. Through the Colonel’s point of view, there probably would have been a lot more angry self-mutterings and a LOT more profanity. Along with this would be a deeper background and history of Alaska. The reader would probably understand her better, and see her as she really was rather than the romanticized Alaska Miles had painted in his head. I think through the point of view of Miles, the true nature of Alaska Young is very sugar-coated.

3.      The Colonel says, “Everybody’s got a talent”, do you?

            I like to think so, but I can’t be too sure. I believe everyone has at least a few talents, whether they are aware of them or not. Mine happen to be in the “nurturing” and “creativity” categories. Not always as interesting as Miles’s ability to recall famous last words of the Colonel’s talent for memorization. Personally, I’m naturally a very nurturing person. I like to be there for people and take care of them. I think it’s important for everyone to have a “someone” they can go to, whether it be just for a listening ear or a pep talk. I like to be that person. Talents creativity wise….well….that’s what all this *waves arms around Webpage* is for.

4.      Miles’s teacher, Dr. Hyde, tells him to “be present”. What does this mean?

            To me, “being present” means being aware. Conscious of what is going on around you. “Stopping to smell the roses”, if you will. There are so many distractions and so many things going on around us all the time that is seems like we’re living at the speed of light. To me, “being present” is enjoying life in the moment rather than getting pulled into the warp of time. It’s taking a moment to appreciate what’s happening now in your life. “Being present” is acknowledging that you’re alive. Alive in that moment.

5.      John Green worked for a time as a chaplain in a children’s hospital. How do you think that influenced the writing of “Looking for Alaska”?

            Well considering I don’t entirely understand what a chaplain does, and that John Green described how it influenced him in the “Some Last Words on Last Words” section of the book, I’ll keep this short and sweet. I think working in the hospital really showed Green just how young people react to drastic changes.
 
6.      What do you think “The Great Perhaps” means?
           

            To me, “The Great Perhaps” is all the opportunities, chances, all the experiences, all of the unknown, and all of the “maybes” in life. The Great Perhaps is a term for possibilities and seeking it is how we change and grow. I don’t think there’s just one “Great Perhaps” in life. It can be an event, person, or possession. Sometimes, we may not even know we came across a “Great Perhaps” until it is already gone. The Great Perhaps, to me, serves as life’s “what ifs”.

 

7.      And how about Bolivar’s “labyrinth”?

           

                        In the book, Alaska believes the labyrinth to be the labyrinth of suffering,    but I’m not sure if I agree. The labyrinth comes from a Simon Bolivar’s last words, “How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!” It was, at first, unsure whether Bolivar meant the labyrinth of life or death. Later in the novel, Alaska decides he meant the labyrinth of suffering. I’m not so sure if it’s suffering as much as struggle. There’s always a struggle in life. It’s something we will never escape as long as we live, and I believe that’s what Bolivar meant.

8.      In the “Some Last Words on Last Words” section at the end of the book, Green writes, “I was born into Bolivar’s labyrinth and so I much believe in the hope of Rabelais’ ‘Great Perhaps’.” What do you think he means by this?

                 Assuming that Green agrees with Alaska’s suffering theory; I’d say that the “Great Perhaps” to him is hope itself. Hope, as well as optimism. The hope that there is something wonderful after death and the optimism that is necessary to believe in it.

 

9.      Has this novel changed the way you regard human suffering and death?

            I’m not sure if it’s changed how I think about suffering and death, but it has definitely widened my views. It’s amazing how the seemingly happiest person can really be the one suffering the most, like Alaska. She clearly had issues, but she seemed so care free all the time that you wouldn’t expect her to describe herself as a “deeply unhappy person” (unless that was just the fog from the book being the Miles’s point of view). As for death, I’ve always been a follower of the Christian faith. Like any faith, mine has its weak points, but I’m not really sure what I expect Heaven or the afterlife to be. I don’t believe in being just “gone” like Miles and the Colonel did. I think there has to be more, but perhaps we’re not conscious of it…

 

10.  One of the characters, Dr. Hyde, says “Everything that comes together falls apart.” Do you think the author agrees? How does he deal with this Zen belief in his novel?

                       

                        I think Green agrees to some degree with this idea. He displays the togetherness and falling apart though the group of kids the story revolves around. They come together, disaster strikes, they fall apart. It is because of what comes after that I think Green only agrees to a certain degree, because the kids come back together again. Although it is plausible that that’s just how things work. It’s a constant system of coming together and falling apart, and coming together and falling apart. Or perhaps there are some things that are meant to permanently come apart. It’s all just part of the cycle that is the labyrinth and the Great Perhaps.

 

11.  Alaska loves these two lines from the poet W.C. Auden: “You shall love your crooked neighbor/ With your crooked heart.” What do these lines mean to you and why do you think Alaska likes them so much?

 

            I think these lines mean that we should love and be kind to one another, flaws and all, because we are all flawed and “crooked”. Maybe that in itself is why Alaska loves the lines so much. She, herself, is crooked, so she related to it closer than we expect her to. It implies a perfect act from an imperfect being.

  

12.  Miles writes, “Teenagers think they are invincible.” Do you agree? Why or why not?

                       

                        I definitely think this is true. Not only do we think we are invincible, but we also think we know everything. I think that’s where so much rebellion comes from too. We believe we already know everything, so we ignore authority figures. We think we are invincible because we are stuck in the mindset of “That won’t happen to me”. We assume bad things only happen to someone else. However, we forget that we are all someone else to someone else.

13.  Was it necessary for Alaska to die?

 

            To have the ending that the book did, yes. Her death made Miles think harder about life, religion, and himself. Alaska’s death changed him even more than Alaska herself did. It transformed him in a way that I believe was for the better. It made him grow, change, and mature even more. So, yes, Alaska’s death was necessary.

 

14.  This novel is filled with wonderful characters. Who is your favorite? Why? Do you know any people like these characters?

                       

                        Out of all the characters, it is incredibly difficult to pick out just one favorite. However, I think I fell just as deeply in love with Alaska as Miles did. She was a free spirit and fearless. Yes, she was moody, but what human being isn’t at some point? Alaska reminded me of a mix between two of my good friends and me. Mostly just in how she spoke and the way she interacted with other people. Miles reminded me of one of my very dear friends and if he’s reading this, he knows exactly who he is. I believe we all have friends like The Colonel, Alaska, and Miles at least once during our lives, whether it’s permanent or destined to fall apart.

 

15.  Can you imagine Miles and the Colonel as adults? What might they be like? What professions do you suppose they might choose?

                         I have a hard time picturing the two as adults. I imagine they would stay friends due to they’re connection though living together in school as well as what they went through together with Alaska and her passing. Miles would probably be married with a son of his own, most likely still in love with the memory of Alaska. The Colonel would be rich and successful, well on his way to buying his mother that great big house. Miles will probably be just like his father, once a badass, but those days were now just a faded memory. I could easily see him as an author or journalist. As for the Colonel, he would be a big shot CEO at a very prestigious business, still drinking, smoking, and cussing way too much.

            When I mentioned that I was going to start reading John Green’s novels, one of my friends told me to “be ready to cry and grow a little bit wiser”. Now I know what she meant.