A
Analysis of Samuel Pepys Based on His Diary That No One Was Supposed to Read in
the First Place
After
reading just a month’s worth of Samuel Pepys’ diary anyone and everyone with
functioning cognitive skills will agree that Pepys generally sucked as a
person. Sure, he was friendly enough to someone if they were not his wife or
asking for his help, but he spent far too much time worrying about business and
drinking. Not only that, but after reading a few entries, Pepys seems
hypocritical as well. These are all characteristics noted in simply one short
month of his diary, February 1665.
For
someone who claims to love his wife, Pepys sure does complain about her a lot.
The first day of February he is making note of how he is already upset with
her. “Going home I put in to an ordinary by Temple Barr and there with my boy
Tom…being still angry with my wife for yesterday's foolery.” Pepys never
actually goes into detail with what happened with his wife, just that he is
angry with her for something. There is mention of him bickering with her again
in his last entry of the month, “We parted after many high words very angry…” Not
only this, but it is mentioned that he has cheated on her many times before,
which is probably why she was always fighting with him. However, there is no
mentioning of him having any extramarital relations during this month, because
he swore off women. As noted on Valentine’s Day when talking about his
valentine who is not his wife, “my oath preserved me from [losing] any time
with her”. Wow. He swore off women for a whole month out of his entire life.
What a trooper.
 |
| I'm Samuel. I'm a pompous doucheface. |
This
goes on to point out his hypocrisy. Pepys claims to be a Christian, or at least
he praises God every time his business is doing well enough for the reader to
assume he is. For example, “…and I to my office to my month's accounts, and
find myself worth L1270, for which the Lord God be praised!” Is he kidding?
This would probably be more believable if he would be more willing to help his
fellow man, stick to the “day of rest” idea on the Sabbath, and, oh yeah, not
commit adultery or beat his wife. He truly is a classy fellow, this Samuel
Pepys. A fantastic show of his classiness is when a friend asks Pepys to look
after his daughter. Pepys ignores this request but still has his wife beat the
little girl and “…then [they] shut her down into the cellar, and there she lay
all night.” Real swell folks. Lord God be praised that the Pepys never
reproduced.
Samuel
Pepys would probably be an absent father figure anyway, considering he spends
all his time either at the office or out with his boys, particularly the one
named after a lunch item. There could be a drinking game based on how many
times Pepys writes “to the office” for an absurd amount of time. It is true,
Pepys had a roaring social life, but this is probably because he left all of
his less than flattering qualities in his diary at home.
To
conclude, it can be maintained that Samuel Pepys was something of a “Real
Housewife” of his time. The only difference being that he was, in fact, a man.
He had plenty of drama around him, many affairs, and decent finances (Praise be
to God). With these kinds of assets, Pepys truly could have had a successful
reality show in this century and be famous for absolutely nothing. Some would
find these observations unfair, given that he had not known people would read
the things included in his diary, therefore, not giving the whole story.
However, it can be argued that had he known, he would not have been as
truthful. Therefore, painting himself up to be an even more delightful person
than he has already made himself out to be. It can be assumed, though, that
Lord Samuel Pepys might be a quite a tad miffed if he knew how many people had
read his diary thus far.
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