Fighting the Stress Monster

  I know there are a lot of you out there who are feeling extremely stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, scared, defeated, etc. so I just wanted to take a minute to remind you that you CAN do this. You are SO much stronger than you think you are and you can handle anything. Life is a rollercoaster. It goes up, down, and in loops. Even when things seem like they’ll never pick up, keep looking forward. Keep fighting. The low points WILL end eventually. 

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

  Hang on. Hang on with all of your might, and until your knuckles turn white. You are strong. You are mighty. You are glorious. And I love you. Yes, you, the person reading this right now, and I want you to push yourself to your highest limits because I know you are powerful enough to get through whatever it is that has you strung out. Be it school, work, people, or even yourself, you have the strength to get past it all and things will eventually get better.

“No beating yourself up. That’s not allowed. Be patient with yourself. It took you years to form the bad habits of thought that you no longer want. It will take a little time to form new and better ones. But I promise you this: Even a slight move in this direction will bring you some peace. The more effort you apply to it, the faster you’ll find your bliss, but you’ll experience rewards immediately.” 
― Holly Mosier

  Make a move in the right direction. Don’t just wait for the hard times to pass, work through them. Focus on one thing at a time, and don’t borrow troubles from tomorrow. Keep your mind set on what you are doing today. Worry about those other things later. In fact, write down all your worries and then think about them later. By writing them down, you trick yourself into thinking you’re still stressing over whatever it is, but you’re actually forgetting about it. 

  Don’t just stop there, though. Take time to meditate. Focusing solely on breathing and breathing deeply, even just for five minutes, does wonders for your body. It massages your muscles, gives you clarity, as well as relieves emotional and physical pain among dozens of other benefits. So take the time to find a quiet sanctuary away from other people, close your eyes and breathe. 

  There’s also the option to take a nap. Almost everyone I know doesn’t get enough sleep. It seems like naptime should be a nationally recognized daily routine. A 20 minute nap in the afternoon can refresh your mind and body even after a poor night’s sleep. You’ll want to avoid napping for hours, though. Your body goes through sleep cycles and one cycle is generally 20 minutes. It’s more affective to wake up at the end of a cycle than in the middle of one. Waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle will leave you feeling groggy and more tired than you were before. Save the long hours of sleep for nighttime.

  But what about insomnia? It’s hard not to nap for hours during the day when your brain won’t shut off at night. Taking a hot bath 90 minutes before going to sleep will help your body cool down and relax so you can slip into sleep faster. However, cold feet can prevent you from going to sleep. By wearing socks to bed, you improve your circulation which also assists your body in falling asleep faster. You can also develop a bedtime routine, avoid alcohol and nicotine, exercise, and avoid eating before bed to fight off insomnia. However, if you do exercise, it’s best to do it in the morning. Exercising too late in the evening will keep your body up and alert. 

“You’re only one work out away from a good mood.”
-Anonymous

  Not only does exercise fight insomnia, but it also relieves stress. You don’t have to go out and run a 6 minute mile, you just have to start somewhere. Once you get started, it gets a little easier every time. Do a few crunches or take a ten minute walk outside. Exercise releases endorphins and serotonin which naturally pick up your mood. It’s just common sense that exercise is good for you. Your body needs it and it’ll make you feel better about you. I promise. 

  Eating the right things can also help reduce stress. Foods high in vitamins B & C as well as folic acids like tuna, almonds asparagus, milk, cottage cheese, oranges, and blueberries help stabilize your mood. Dark chocolate has also been known to help relieve stress. Just don’t go crazy, about .7 ounces (40grams) or two squares of a large bar in the morning and in the afternoon is all you really need. It figures that chocolate would help relieve stress. 

If none of the above appealed to you, here are some other things you can use to try to reduce stress:
• Talk to someone who listens
• Music
• Listen to nature sounds 
• Scented candles
• Spritz favorite cologne/perfume
• Wrap up in warm blanket
• Wear soft clothes
• Hold a comforting object (stuffed animal, favorite possession, etc.)
• Chew gum
• Coffee/Tea
• Drink Water
• Take a break from technology 

  Everyone feels overwhelmed at some point in their lives and sometimes we do it to ourselves. It’s important to remember to pace yourself. Don't try to take on everything at once. Not only that, but be your own best friend. Reality is perception, so make your reality a wonderful place. Choose to be happy and choose to love yourself. It’s easier said than done, I know, but trying and staying optimistic absolutely pays off. Find something to smile about every day, even when all you want to do is cry. And you know what? If you need to cry, then cry. Let the tears flow until you’ve exhausted yourself. Then dry your eyes, pick yourself up, look in the mirror and tell yourself you ARE strong enough.

“That voice in your head, telling you that you can’t do this? It’s a fucking LIAR.”
-Anonymous 

I believe in you. It’s about time you did too.

I Pushed You Down Deep in My Soul for Too Long

The sweetest thing a boy ever said to me: 

Him: “What are you thinking about?”

Me: “What?”

Him: “You bite your lip when you’re thinking about something.”

  This, to me, was more powerful than him saying “I love you” or giving some huge monologue about what he loved about me. This in itself showed me he loved me because it shows that he cared enough to notice. Even though we are no longer in that state of being madly in love, we don’t even talk anymore; this memory still makes me smile. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. To me, you can say “I love you” all you want or buy and say pretty things, but these don’t begin to measure up to simply taking the time to notice tiny details. It shows that you pay attention and you genuinely care to remember the other person’s habits. “I love you” is so overused anyway, that I really think we need a new way to say it. People abuse it; say it without meaning it or really knowing what they’re talking about. I’ve been guilty of this multiple times. It doesn’t matter how many times you say it, you can say it a thousand times, that doesn’t make it true. When you start noticing the small things and making a point to remember them….to me, that’s better than “I love you”. I’ll take that over “I love you” any day. 

Some Thoughts on Growing Up

  Nostalgia is an interesting thing…it’s so bittersweet. It’s fun to look back, but then you have an intense longing to be in that moment again. I always get so emotional. Today I was driving home and two songs came on that made me choke up “100 Years” and “London Rain”. One song takes me back to high school, and the other goes back even farther to when I was a little girl. 100 Years just made me think of my growing up to this point. I’ll always be growing, but so far, this is the farthest I’ve come. My school chorus sang 100 Years for our “Senior night of Inspiration” and remembering rehearsing for that, perfecting it, and performing it….the emotions finally came crashing down on me and I had to fight off some serious tears (I always end up crying in the car for some reason). It just brought on these thoughts “I will never sing with that group again.” “I’m never going back.” “That was my last time.” and it’s almost too much to deal with. Growing up seems to have just snuck up on me. I feel like I was the same freshman and sophomore year and then I just did a lot of growing up my junior year. I really think that’s when I grew up the most, because I had to deal with a lot of intense emotions and turmoil. I’m certain I’ll look back later and think it really wasn’t a big deal, but at the time, those were the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. 

Seriously. Everyone needs to read this book.

  John Green also contributed a lot to my growing up. His books made me really reflect on myself and consider the type of person I wanted to be. He gave me a whole new perspective on life and the world. Not to mention, his fictional characters made me cry more than I’ve ever cried over real people. 
Besides this, I don’t think I changed too much in my senior year; I just tried to be a better person and tried harder to be kind to everyone. It dawned on me that I can take what should be jokes too seriously and I need to learn to just laugh and joke back rather than get offended. Learning to laugh at yourself is probably one of the biggest signs of maturity, in my opinion. 
  After I got over my emotional reminiscing of high school, I sent myself into another spiral of emotion when “London Rain” came on. I don’t think I was even aware of this song until a couple years ago, but for some reason it takes me back to being a toddler, little girl, and pre-teen. I guess it’s the soothing voice and the feel the music gives me that remind me of the house I was a toddler in. It just reminds me of what I used to call “home”. I love looking back on the houses I used to live in, and someday I just want to take the time to go back and visit all of them. Throughout my life I’ve lived in seven houses, some more significant than others. There’s the house I was born in, the house on Eagle Ridge, my Lost Forest house, the house we used while in the process of moving, the New Jersey house, my personal favorite is the one on Granby Way, and this current house. I imagine there will be many more, but these are the houses I’ll have all my childhood memories in, besides the one I was born in. We moved before I had memory capacity. 
  The first house I really remember is Eagle Ridge. This is probably my second favorite house. It’s the house I became a big sister in and was the house I was a toddler in. This house always brings forth a cozy feeling when I look back on it. That’s probably because the most vivid memories I have are memories of being in my parents’ bath tub, being snuggled up with them, and laying in my bed at night. I think there’s something cozy about being little in general. Almost everything you do is precious and you don’t have a real grasp on what the world is yet. That innocence in itself is a haven, but we don’t realize it until later.

My house was the brick house on the right <3

  My favorite house is the one on Granby Way, and this is probably because I have the most childhood memories there, good and bad. I really did spend all but 2 years there as a little kid. This is the house in which I made my first best friends, where I felt my first heartbreak, had my first taste of independence, and had my first babysitting job. I always thought the cul-de-sac where I lived could be used in a movie or TV show. The setting was just perfect. There were kids of all ages, and each age group had somewhat of a little gang and each seemed to have a leader in my mind, usually the oldest. I remember spending hours playing four-square in the court paint up in the middle of the cul-de-sac by our neighbors. Depending on their mood, the older kids would either pummel the younger kids or go easy on them. Every younger kid went through a stage where they cried whenever they got out, but they always grew out of it. There was always a pretty lengthy line for those who wanted to play four-square. In the TV show/movie I imagined for this cul-de-sac, I pictured a montage of all the kids playing four-square, and as time goes by, the line gets smaller and smaller until the court is empty. Then, ideally, the “leaders” of the age groups would come back all grown up with children of their own and teach them how to play. I actually do want to go back and buy the house I was living in on that street when I get older. This probably won’t happen, but it’s an idea I’d like to hold onto. I occasionally go back and just sit outside the house and look back on the time I spent living there. The last time I went back, for some reason, I got more emotional than usual and ended up with tears streaming down my face. It may seem silly to some, but there’s a lot of sentiment attached to this house. Just as there is for the one I’m currently in.
  The house I currently call home isn’t particularly a favorite, but it is significant. This is the house I was a teenager in, learned to drive in, had my first “real” relationship in, and officially marked the divorce of my parents. This is the house where I did most of my growing up. It’s not as sentimental as the one on Granby Way, but it does have some sentimental memories in it. I can’t say I’ll be as devastated to leave it as I was when I left Granby Way, but maybe that’s because I leave it every week to go to my father’s house. It’s funny how people can have such an emotional connection to certain things and for others, nothing seems sentimental. It’ll be interesting to see what new places, people, and things, become close to my heart as I move forward in life. Will I become attached to the first home I have when I move out? The home I get married in? The one I have my first child in? Or will they all be the same place? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.