Why Aldous Huxley and I are NOT friends.

Ok. I need to rant a little bit today. This summer I read Brave New World by Aldous Huxley for my British Literature class. Let me just say I never realized just how angry a book could make me. There are many things in this book that bugged me, but let me just start off with the main female character.

LENINA. What. The. EFF!? Seriously, something went seriously wrong with this chick’s egg sack or whatever it was they called it. I’m pretty sure her whole existence and purpose in the whole book was to just whine about every little thing she didn’t like. And it was damn OBNOXIOUS. I mean really. Who knowingly goes on vacation to tour an “uncivilized” world and then spends the whole time complaining because it’s nothing like home!? Her exact words were “I wish we brought the helicopters. I hate walking”. I’m just sitting here reading this like. Really, bitch? Really? Do you realize that just a few chapters ago you were worrying about how chunky you are? And now you’re complaining about walking. God forbid Lenina has to use her legs. I’m telling you, something went horribly wrong during this girl’s development process.

Actually, speaking of development, can someone please explain to me the justification these people have in torturing 18 month old kids for the sake of their ridiculous caste system? I mean really, is scarring kids for life and making them afraid of flowers and books completely necessary? I don’t see why they couldn’t just brainwash them into not liking those things with the creepy voices they play while the kids are sleeping. There is no reason to use shock therapy on 1 year olds.

Oh, and the caste system just makes me damn angry. Not that that’s any different from the rest of the book, but seriously? We have to mutate and purposely dumb down people for a “perfect” society? With the technology they’re using they could be just making machines to do all the dirty work and let everyone be equal. This whole Alpha, Beta, Gamma thing is just stupid.

Honestly, it makes me appreciate Bernard even more, but of course, even he gets big headed and totally loses my respect later. Characters like this always make me angry. They’re humble until they come into the position of power, and then they take total advantage of every perk that comes their way like they’ll never ever lose that position. Then like the idiots they are, they throw away everyone who was ever nice and supportive of them for a few chances to get laid or something of the like. It especially made me seethe when Bernard made promises on behalf of John the Savage. Seriously, dude. You can’t go around making promises to everyone without consulting the guy in question first, and then act all shocked and betrayed when he’s not cool with it. Last I checked, you don’t own this guy, and I highly doubt he wants to spend an evening being gawked at by people he doesn’t know. I don’t blame him either. That’s freaking awkward.

Which reminds me, at what point did society give paparazzi the right to break the invasion of privacy laws? These people are proof that it is possible to have your head all the way up another person’s ass. And these guys were hardcore about it too! They drove poor John to offing himself via rope necklace! Seriously, guys? What are you doing? Take a good hard look at your life…or just go home and take a ridiculous amount of soma or something.
SOMA. Whose bright idea was THAT!? How about instead of artificial happiness, you create a government that allows a lifestyle in which you don’t need to pop pills to be happy? Maybe it’s just me, but if I’m gonna create some amazing utopian world, I’d like to make sure it’s actually pleasant without depending on drugs.

Now can we talk about the polygamy for a second? I understand people believe humans weren’t designed to stay together, but that does NOT mean that you go whore yourself out to every pretty thing with genitals. That’s how you get AIDS and die. No joke. I don’t care how shiny and new your medical machines are or how advanced your vaccines are. I guarantee you with everyone humping anything that moves like that SOMEONE is walking around with critters in their downstairs or the herply erplies. You’ve pretty much got everyone begging for genital warts, but whatever. It’s cool. We’ll all just whine and space out on soma and it’ll be all good, right?
Aldous Huxley….we are NOT friends.